June thoughts

It is June, and to me that means my mother’s birthday with a gift of a red rose bud and gardenia corsage. Much, much later her death and burial dates elbowed themselves into my cherished June. These last unwanted dates (please, please not in her June) began one Sunday afternoon, after all of us attended the three block meetings. She started hurting to the point that regular pain pills couldn’t quench the pain. We phoned her doctor and he said that she should be immediately taken to the hospital and this began the succession of her admission to American Fork and then Utah Valley Hospitals, her 90th birthday in the latter hospital along with her last Spanish food, (When she woke up the morning of her birthday—June 15th’, she asked Patty what the date was and when told she said, “ Now I am 90 years old?
Patty said, “ Yes, that’s right!”
Mother’s response to that was, “Why am I still alive then? Who would want to be older than 90?”), her yearning to return home (our place with her separate rooms) so she stay there and could see Nicky (our cocker spaniel dog, and Mikayla, her 16 month old great-granddaughter), Patty and I being with her (together and separately) during the hospital stay, Boyd’s visit, Marva’s visit (Patty needs to tell about this event.), her hip replacement (she tried to get out of bed unaided), her last Shakespearian quote, her release from the hospital and being transported home, her thinking that the hospice nurse was an insurance sellsman and so she refused to respond to her in any way (or even open her eyes) until after she left, Patty and my attending, medicating, turning, watching over, massaging (Patty), visiting with, coming when she called, and listening to her last breaths (but never telling her good bye.)
These days were filled with breathless moments.
One took place in the tiny hospital room that she occupied at the Utah Valley Hospital for a couple of days. It was so tiny that it was totally full with her bed and two chairs (one for Patty and one for me.) Patty was standing at the foot of her bed (probably massaging her feet and legs as she often did), and I was listening and visiting. Patty looked deeply into Mom’s blue, blue eyes and said, “ Mother, what are Janene and I going to do if you leave us?”
Without so much as pausing for a breath, Mother commanded, “You two will carry on!”
Patty and I both looked wide eyed at one another and then at Mother. She gave her head a decisive nod. That was that.
I have had plenty of time since then to contemplate on this conversation and have recognized the great challenge and responsibility of carrying, or trying to carry forth, her standard. Many times I have failed. I know and accept, though, that it is well worth a lifetime’s effort. Her standard could probably be stated in what I thought was her favorite scripture but turned out to be a quote from Shakespeare’s play, Hamlet. “This above all: To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou cans’t not then be false to any man.”
My take on Mother’s practical application of this is: be honest, let your word be your bond, do what you say you’ll do, “neither a borrower or a lender be,” excel, expand your horizons, achieve, set goals, pay your bills, pause for beauty, help where needed, be loyal to your friends and family, welcome responsibilities, honor and recognize perfection, willingly serve, don’t gossip, row your own boat, accept that silence is golden, be consistent, etc. etc. etc. (As she quoted from The King and I,)